What’s next?

The question I’ve been asking myself lately is just that. What’s next? Where do I go from here? I know, I know, live in the moment, be thankful for what you have, dont wish your days away. But what if you know you are capable of more and you literally need more (as in more fulfillment, adventure, purpose)? How do you find those things if you feel stuck or dont know where to look or how to get there? I know there are countless books, blogs, quotes about this and I recently read a great book, “You Are a Badass” by Jen Sincero. I actually need to reread it and put all of her principals into practice but I think I need to figure out some other things even before then. What I’ve realized, and actually did awhile back and its been constantly on my mind I just haven’t done anything about it, is the way I live my every day to day life isn’t really in line with the life I dream of – with true happiness and contentment. And as much as I want to say, “I just dont know how”, I do know some things it will take to get there:

Persistence: I need to do what I say I am going to do and continue to do it. So often I start something and don’t finish it because it’s too hard, I don’t see instant results, or I just give up because that’s what i’m used to doing. I know that if I want to see changes in my life I have to do the work to make things happen to get the results I want and know I deserve. So here’s to hoping that writing some things down will help me in achieving these things that have thus far seemed out of my reach. (Disclaimer: on my last post which was way too long ago I said I was going to try to write everyday. Well that didn’t happen. So here we are again.)

Faith: I lose faith in myself VERY easily which is why I lack persistence thinking i’m not capable of doing something. And that is in fact true. I alone am not capable of it, but with God, we can do anything. In Jen’s book, she talks about how if you want something in life and you really believe that it can be yours then it can be. I just have to do the work, believe in myself, have faith that God has a plan and is here to help me. As are probably lots of people in our lives. The key is to make sure the people in your life are those people!

Rationalization: The reality of a situation usually isnt what I have going on in my mind. I over analyze constantly, rethink things over and over, and am a huge worry wart. As much as I ponder on the past and wish I had done something different, it isnt going to change. My past doesn’t define me and I have a great future ahead of me. Stressing whether the decision I am about to make is going to be right and what will happen if I do this or that probably wont have an influence on the outcome. All I can do is pray about everything and trust in God and myself. Let go, let God.

First step to ‘what’s next’:

Get organized/declutter/simplify

Kind of ironic but its been pretty widely agreed upon that having less stuff can help you emotionally and help eliminate stress in your life. If I always knew were everything was I would save time and money. If I didnt have a garage full of things I dont need, I wouldnt walk through a big mess everyday and almost have an anxiety attack over it and could maybe even park my car in the garage! Changing my environment, will help change me. I used to pride myself on being organized and these days I hesitate to even put in in  my cover letter.

I’ve had this ‘bullet journal’ for some time now and have a few pages filled in. It’s been hard to get it going. Either because I haven’t taken the time to do so or it’s too hard. The latter is definitely not true so I need to go back to the ‘reality’ of it. It’s not too hard, I have to make the time, and be persistent. So I need to utilize my bullet journal, or at least my version of one. And once again I need to write things down; appointments, deadlines, celebrations, goals, bucket lists, etc. EVERYTHING that is going on in this brain of mine. That will declutter my mind and help me concentrate on what is most important and prioritize.

Okay, well I think that is enough for today. Have to get back to the paying job – ‘lunch break’ is over. 🙂

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